So this morning around the insane hour of 6 am I found myself having to literally gain momentum to rock myself back and forth to eventually catapult myself from “the couch” - this is how squishy it is. What’s really sad is that in that deciding moment to sleep on the couch, the only thing holding me back is like 15 stairs. It’s sad really, being me and all...sometimes.
Then with great irony I realized why I had to get up. I had to get up because getting older...sucks. For an undefined amount of time prior to waking up, I had been dreaming I was running around finding one bathroom after another, but with no relief. It’s amazing how your brain takes over during your slumber.
When I finally did break free from the couch, I realized that I live the life of a 80 year old man in the retirement home: I mentally have to tell myself not to drink anything after 7 p.m. because if I do “I’ll be up half the night going to the bathroom...oi-vey”. I should wear a Depends and call it a night...I’m just sayin’.
Know what else I realized at this un-holy hour? I had such a bad coughing fit last night that I actually strained my neck and upper back to the point that I really kind of hurt right now. This could also be the result of trying to play a game of human Tetris and share a COUCH with one of my really bed-hungry dogs, Thump. But for now, I’m going to go with the “coughing fit” excuse.
Ok, I think I’ve successfully jotted down my pre dawn notes - which by the way I thought were hysterical enough to power up my computer and jot down before I forgot them. Now that I’m in writing mode I can vaguely feel my mind coming alert so I’m going to try and trick it by going back to lie down...and maybe “call it a day” while I’m there.
Hope you day starts/ends with such joyous “growing older” moments such as these...HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!
P.S. Maybe I’ll give you another shout later today - you know, now that the dogs are up and thinking we’re going for a pre-sunrise, 36 degree walk in the frozen morning crunchy grass while I wait in flip flops saying “hurry up, it’s cold out here!”. Lord, someone come please save me from myself!!
(The dogs are walked now)
6:38: In the course of those 20 minutes, I had some more completely random thoughts. First, I sat swaying from foot to foot in the freezing cold, wearing a long sleeved t-shirt, an old ratty sweater, a fleece jacket, gloves, CAPRI sweat pants and flip flops...and pondered why did I ever buy capri sweat pants? Oh that’s right, because it’s 95 degrees here 9 months out of the year. I can suck it up and tolerate freezing calves for a short while...ya’ll enjoy that 6 feet of snow this season, ya hear?
This brief time outside also made me think about my crazy bedtime giddy up’s that I would wear as a child. We lived in Nashville where there was at least a chance of a “winter-esque” type season - unlike here where the frost covered grass is offset by the green swaying palm trees...I’ll live.
Anyway...in Nashville as a child, I would come downstairs in a t-shirt and underwear complaining to whichever adult the “thermostat powers” lay with that day, about how cold it was in the house. They would consult their “Because I Said So” handbook and say - “Well go put some clothes on.”. Clothes? Why should I put clothes on? We have heat - just crank it up so I can run around like this and be comfortable. These delusions of grandure lasted until I had to pay my very own “first electric bill” - and yes it took that long for the logic to sink it. After I paid that sucker, it was the “wear-all-the-clothes-you-own-and-hunker-down-for-the-long-haul” philosophy.
Well, my wit has once again fooled me into writing my thoughts down then thinking I could go back to bed. I’m up now. Glad I got to share my morning with you. Prayers are always appreciated for this functioning nut house. Remember....
22 DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS!!!!
As P-Dub says - Love ya more than my luggage,