Having a hard time sleeping tonight, so I thought I'd go for cheap therapy: writing. I went out tonight to pick up dinner and some movies, and I think it's the first time I noticed all the lights. It's also the first time I've thought about how fleeting the next few days will be till Christmas morning.
This year is going to be different for me. I've been a little lost the last few months since our company announced they will close the Jacksonville office. It hasn't been until recently that what that actually means has started to seep into my finite, closed brain. Maybe it is from a most grateful heart with where I am now, that I decided to serve at the Christmas Day lunch our church will host for the homeless. I don't know that I'm mentally prepared. It seems my heart is torn into a million pieces when I think about any of it too much...being homeless, being hungry, being alone, being cold, being shunned. I wonder were I grew to accept that a person living on the streets is somehow less of a human being - they somehow don't feel or want or hope or believe in God...if they just had enough faith in God, then...
We're all one bad decision away from being in the very same shoes and maybe that's the reality that I've been trying to process so very close to home.
This is indeed a time to be thankful like no other. Considering the decisions I've made in the past I have to know, that I know, that I know, that I never have been in charge of my life. It has been guided by a most loving, forgiving and grace-full God.
Please join me in an afternoon of service at Oakleaf Christian Fellowship as we partner with Heart of the Street ministries to provide a meal, toiletries, clothes and fellowship to men, women and children in the Jacksonville area.
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