10.16.12 My Heart Will Trust In You...

I had a sweet time with the Lord last night and this morning, so I wanted to share simply because I know I am not the only one who feels this way...I can't be.

One thing about my faith that I consistently struggle with is being in a relationship with an unseen God. The very notion of a relationship denotes there are 2 people actively involved in a life together, who talk...every day, laugh at how funny life can be, cry, celebrate, and huddle closer when something ugly rears its head and challenges our love or beliefs in one another. But slowly the truth is unfolding that this relationship is something that is real and tangible; and for the last two days it has become even more vivid in a whole new way.

The First Way...

I went to a friends house for dinner and was excited to catch up with everything that had happened since I saw them the week before. In the midst of talking, two very animated daughters came out to join in our conversation. But this time something welled up inside me and I moved to block her girls from coming any closer. I said “I have not seen your mother in a week, so I love you, but go find something else to do until dinner”. They protested, but I stood firm (and I wondered if I had just overstepped my boundary)...it was not easy for either of us to do. That unlocked a teaching moment from God, and a door for her and I to be able to just enjoy being with one another.

I came home wondering why that had happened, and in fact woke up thinking about it. I sat down on my couch after breakfast and closed my eyes for a moment and had this picture of Jesus standing inside my house at the front door, one hand on the door and the other on the doorframe - and there were people looking inside at me as I sat on the couch. He lovingly said to them, “I’m sorry this is my time with her” and without another word shut the door. How quickly my mind said “But there’s not really anyone clamoring to spend time with you, is there?”...and I said no. But Jesus said - maybe not people, but what about things? Ouch Jesus. You mean all that stuff I choose to do before I spend time with you, or choose over spending time with you? Ouch.  

It was a truth served with sweetness. In that moment He became so very real to me. He showed me how He felt about me, and what my actions looked like to Him. In that moment He became my protector - the one man who will guard His time with me and consider it a priority. This morning I accepted that in my head AND heart. 

And Another Thing...

Over the last week I have begun conversations with people, which always seem be cut short by someone or something. For a person whose love language is time, it has about put me over the edge. Sunday after service I was enjoying a conversation between friends, and hoped that it would continue for a while...and in the midst of something fun and sweet we suddenly all felt the need to leave because we thought the pastor was hinting for us to leave. But what truly hurt my heart was that for whatever reason none of us tried to keep the conversation going, but instead just accepted it. What was that?? Was that the enemy stealing from us? Was that us not standing up for something good that was happening? Was it our feet answering our stomach's growl?

But here’s the two fold lesson, general speaking. First, when I don’t try to force something, and yield for God’s timing to have its perfect work, then what comes out of that is a bazillion times sweeter than anything I could have hoped for. Second, the unseen Jesus remains to this day beside me always, and He is that red faced jealous lover of my soul who wants to talk with me with the same longing I had to continue those two conversations with friends. When that truth hit me I was simply blown away. And He became that much more real to me. 

My prayer is that He will continually show Himself in sweet ways like this - both allowing me to walk it out and being shown the truth in a situation. I pray that I yield to the strength of that lesson so that my heart turns a corner and I can stand on the truth of what I know. I want to live expecting that He will become even more real to me, right up to the day I get to stand before Him. He’s an incredibly creative God, and one that I can trust my heart with...it’s good to be me. 

I’ll walk closer now on the higher way
Through the darkest night will you hold my hand
Jesus guide my way
O you mourn with me and you dance with me
For my heart of hearts is bound to you

Though I walk through valleys low
I’ll fear no evil
By the waters still my soul
My heart will trust in You

O You counsel me and You comfort me
When I cannot see,
You light my path
Though I walk through valleys low
I’ll fear no evil
By the waters still my soul
My heart will trust in You 
My heart will trust in you