My Life...Simply Rocks

09.12.11 Called To Live WIth Passion...

2011-09-12T14:18:00.002-04:00

There are (sometimes odd) ideas, thoughts or feelings that pop into my brain. In most recent years I have learned to curtail most of those feelings and put a stronger filter on my words.

The reason I tell you that is because I am in a new season of my relationship with God in which I am realizing how much damage I have done in the past with them. If it entered my head it came out my mouth...usually in the way of sarcasm, poking uncomfortable fun at myself and fiery darts filled with venom at others. There were (and sometimes are) days that it was exhausting being me.

Thankfully God’s desire is that we never STAY that way - and let me add that He desires for us to be constantly evolving. Why do I believe that? Well, because God Himself is never ending - we can never out-think, out-love, out-give, out-do or out-know the things and person of God. He is indeed a deep well of mystery. In my mind, since we are created in His image and He created all good things and is control of all good things - He not only has the sole authority, but the ability to change us from the inside out as we, by our own free will, choose to follow Him. To CHOOSE to change, to CHOOSE to forgive...as we CHOOSE to love.

From those choices, He brought me to a word - passion - that describes how I am falling in love with Him. To be passionately in love with God, who I can not see or feel in the natural.

Does that statement make you uncomfortable? The whole idea use to creep me out...to be passionately in love with God? It happened one Sunday...we sang “How He Loves Us” and the verse that made me squirm (and on several occasions leave the sanctuary) was “...so Heaven meets Earth like a passionate kiss...” - I’ve also heard “sloppy wet kiss” and my mind simply couldn’t process it. I also had to deal with - it just didn’t seem right to “fall in love” with God. It seemed wrong and disrespectful and quite frankly - impossible. Why? Because I was filled with some seriously twisted ideas, thoughts and beliefs about love and passion because of the ways and choices in which I lived my life up to that point.

The good news is that God restores all things. I am learning how to think differently...to understand how His love is perfect and is nothing like the flaw-full human variety. Today I sing the song with a new freedom and without shame. And He helps me to define what true love and passion look like and feel like. In the past few days my heart and head have come to understand that a true intimacy with God will not be burdened with shame. There is indeed a learning process to it (because of who I am and how I learn...which I think is very common to all humans), but to know that God created and filled me with a passion and the capacity to love & live greatly with freedom and that is what makes me come more alive.

So all of THAT leads me to say...

“Today’s blog is brought to you by the word PASSION”.

A good and right passion. Living passionately and being passionate denotes action - it's never passive. In your life, when you seek Him out He’s going to call you to action - to “put you in the game”.

I love Francis Chan’s analogy of this concept from “Forgotten God”. I’ve taken a a little liberty in the details of sharing the football huddle analogy, so bear with me (grrrrr) and forgive me.

Imagine it’s Friday night and the stadium is filled with hundreds - nay thousands - of screaming fans wanting with all their being for the home team to have a victory. The score is tied during the last few moments of the game.

The coach knows the play he wants carried out.

He knows the team knows the play from their countless hours of practice in every type weather imaginable.

He knows that even though the play is hard, that there is a unity among the players that will ensure if they work together, they will gain the victory they are looking for.

He brings them in for a huddle.

He can see the sweat pouring off their faces, their bodies are bruised and exhausted.

And he can see the question their eyes hold....”Coach - what are we going to DO?”.

In the moments that follow he reveals the play...the plan. The players instinctively know that it’s the right thing to do. They know the victory is theirs. Their minds are resolved and they confirm the play step by step, player by player.

They yell “BREAK” with so much enthusiasm that every spectator knows the outcome of the game before they have even taken the field again so they begin to shout out words of encouragement and victory.

Imagine yourself standing in that huddle...and you suddenly can see the victory that is to come! You can actually see how it’s going to play out before the first step is ever made! Imagine then that you pile hands with your teammates and yell “BREAK” and the coach says - “Great job! Alright take the bench.”

Wouldn’t part of you be in shock and awe? “Coach - what do you mean? You...you want the whole team to take the bench? What about the final play? What about winning the game Coach? We have to play in order to win - we can’t sit on the bench and still win!”

Can’t you understand their emotions and confusion and defeat? If we don’t do what we know we can do and should do, the victory simply can’t be ours. And I believe God leads us to that point in our lives when THAT is indeed a reality. We can no longer sit still in our relationship with Him, in our relationships with others, in anything that we put our hand to. He knows the plan, He has fully equipped us to be able to win and NOW is the moment He’s calling us to get out there and claim the victory that is ours...NOW is the time for action!!

So let me revert to the days of my unfiltered mouth, but filter it with grace. Let me say what I came to say without repentance or regret:

PEOPLE...WE ARE MEANT TO LIVE A LIFE, JUST NOT “EXPERIENCE” IT...LIVE IT!! THIS REQUIRES YOU TO TAKE ACTION - PLAY, HUDDLE, BREAK, AND PLAY AGAIN!! GET OFF THE BENCH AND MOVE!!!

In a life spent with Christ - in developing your relationship with Him - there is a good portion of our lives - dare I say ALL of our lives - where we are called to action. We are called to be key players, not spectators. As part of this amazing team we’re not called to sit on the sidelines and wait for the victory - we’re called to claim it - to work together using the gifts and strengths unique to each of us, and GO-FIGHT-WIN!!

I’m here to be your cheerleader today...to give you a “tool” of sorts that hopefully leads you to ask - Do I live my life with that kind of “we have to play in order to win” passion?

I’m reading Mike Bickle’s book “The 7 Longings of the Human Heart” and I came across a sentence that made me stop to ask the very question I just asked you. In chapter 6 Mike makes the statement:

“God imparts to us the power to be passionate”.

God - the creator of the universe

imparts - makes known to us, communicates to us

the power - the ability

to be passionate?

Really? What does that look like? I find myself saying that a lot lately - God, I don’t understand “this”, but what does “this” look like? How does “this” manifest itself when I am walking out my day to day life? God - what does “me living passionately” look like? I’m converting to my Word Nerd persona and pulling out all the stops for this one. I feel He led me to discover and define what being passionate looks like and what it requires of me to do...remember we are being called to action!!

Passion implies that my feelings are intense - strong & deep. Rooted in Him. Rooted in His power.

Passion is fervent - it displays the emotion. Not being afraid to love. For it to be apparent. I liken this to if you were thinking good thoughts and feeling you love someone, but never expressed it...God gave us many gifts...mind reading is not on that long list. Show it! Say it!

Passion means having emotions - to have feelings, to feel with all my being. To feel with all of my senses. One of my favorite scriptures calls me to “taste & see that the Lord is good”. How do I taste the Lord? A friend happened upon the meaning of that word, and it means to understand that the Lord is good. So to know in my head and heart (to understand with my whole being) that He is good...and to see with my own two eyes the ways in which He is good.

Passion is heartfelt - a sincere, free will CHOICE. The Lord, our God, will never force Himself upon you. He will be persistent, yes...believe that...but His desire is that we enter into a relationship with Him in our own free will - out of a want to “know this Jesus whose been loving me”, to want to walk in the plan and purpse that was created just for me.

Passion is eager - there is a sense of expectation - to want and not lack any good thing. We come to God knowing that He can and He will. We say it in our service every Sunday - “We hope you came expecting - to find God here. To experience God here. To know that you don’t have to leave this place the same person you came in as.” Coming to God knowing that He CAN and WILL and is ABLE because He loves me...just opens my heart and mind to want to hear from Him. To actively listen.

Passion gets me excited - to be the cause of the feeling, to bring out or give rise to what's inside me. Passion wells up from a place inside me, not from external things.

Passion causes me to be animated - it brings life...to be brought to life - to be & live inspired, encouraged, renewed every single day.

Passion cause me to be spirited - to be full, to have an outlook. To know that His plans for me are to “prosper me...to give me a hope and a future”.

Passion makes me energetic - being involved, showing a great activity within. It causes me to action - to be involved with people, in the church, sharing my testimony, acts of love and service - as well as being evidence of where my heart is, and how God is transforming me from the inside out. It’s an outward manifestation of what’s going on inside me!

Passion makes me fiery - a source of light, to leave a mark on, an energy source. Isn’t that a great word with a great visual? He’s causing me to be a source of light to others. He’s causing me to leave my mark - in a planting seed type way. He gives me strength when I am weary. He gives me strength to stand in the gap for others when they are weary.

A result of passion is that it’s consuming - to take it all in and absorb the good - to be emptied out completely and to know that the source of this love & passion is a never ending well that will renew every day.

Passion is profound - to require much study and thought but to also show great insight and knowledge. It’s not “fluffy”...it allows me to study and search for a lifetime and to not be discouraged or feel unsatisfied. To gains years of insight and knowledge and realize that I know so little of Him - that He, His love, His abilities, and His power are deeper and wider and taller and ever more expansive than I can ever fathom.

That’s a lot to process. It’s a lot of benchmarks and goals for me to continually work towards. If I solely strived to live out the passion that God placed in me I’m in for one heck of a life. To learn more about who you were created to be check out the Bible...then head over to Mike Bickle’s book for some great “AH HA!” moments. You can download it as a PDF, but for those of you who like to read and highlight and write in the margins - you can also pick up a copy over on Amazon or your local faith-based bookstore!!

DISCLAIMER: Mike Bickle and Francis Chan have no idea who I am. We are in no way associated nor am I being paid in any way to promote them or their books. I started reading their books and simply can’t hold this type goodness in any longer. :) These are things, lessons and truths, that I have learned from living out my life day to day. Your results may vary...they can and should be better!!

I pray you are encouraged and feel challenged, and have a renewed hope in your life & in the God who created you. You can do and be ALL of these things and more...feel free to say “Put me in Coach, put me in the game” at any time. Be called to action to claim your victory and have the best Coach imaginable to guide you!

Love,

09.07.11 Heaven On A Bun...

2011-09-07T17:26:00.001-04:00

Well, Fall is upon us. The “90 degree before 9:00 a.m.” track record has been broken!! I actually walked my dog without sustaining major fluid loss! In celebration of this momentous day, I wanted to post my favorite new recipe - French Dip Roast!

It comes from one of my Lisa friends and couldn’t be simpler! It’s much like my infamous Sausage Gravy recipe I shared a long time back - it’s going to be permanently filed in my “fail proof” recipe box. Here’s a visual preview of what I’m calling Nirvana On A Bun.

First, pick out a PORK ROAST that will suit your needs. With a 24 oz. roast I can get 6 good sandwiches out of it. I would stick with a non, pre flavored roast and watch the fat marbling stuff. Heck - I have no idea what to call it, but you get the idea.

Second, pick up a box - with 2 packets - of Lipton ONION SOUP MIX. I’ve used the Beefy Onion variety as well and could not detect any real discernible taste difference.

Third, hop over to the soup isle and pick up 2 cans (10 1/2 oz each) of Campbell's BEEF BROTH.

You can make this recipe two ways. Full Monty and Lite. The Lite version has less salt because you’re reducing the soup & broth amounts AND diluting it with a bit more water. I’ve used low sodium broth and non Campbell’s brand for other things before and haven’t been impressed with the results, but it is an option. With the Lite version you don’t lose any flavor and it’s just a tad more cost effective to get flavoring for two roasts rather than just one.

French Dip

With this version you will get the Full Monty French Dip flavor for all you au-jus lovers.

Turn your crock pot on high.
Heat a pan with olive oil to med-high. Salt & pepper your roast. Brown it on all sides.
In between browning, add to your crock-pot 2 envelopes of soup mix, 2 cans of beef broth and 2 soup cans of water and stir to combine.
When the meat is browned on all sides add it to the crock-pot, place the lid on and forget about it for at least 6 hours. Resist the urge to “check on it” - it’s a mature piece of meat and can take care of itself.
After the 6 hour mark, go take a peek. If you can pull it apart easily with a fork it’s ready.

SIDE NOTE: I know there is a benchmark with meat in which you’re supposed to use a meat thermometer and check the internal temperature, and feel free to do that. But I use the “If it’s not pink, it’s done” method and that seems to have worked just fine with no apparent side effects, food poisoning, or trips to the emergency room.

French Dip Lite

Change ONLY the flavoring quantities - use 1 envelope of soup mix, 1 can of beef broth and 3 soup cans of water and stir to combine.

Finishing Touches

If you’re serving French Dip sandwiches, I would suggest running the liquid through a strainer (maybe even a cheesecloth) to catch the onion bits - plus it helps to make a clear and “pretty” broth. EITHER WAY YOU COOK IT, KEEP THE BROTH!! Storing the meat in the broth helps it to remain moist and full of flavor.

Bread...now here’s a gem I found. At my local Walmart they bake a Bilillios sub-style bread. They look like sub rolls but are pointed at the ends and fat in the middle. They come 6 to a pack for under $2. There are a million options, so pick what you like. The only advice I’ll offer is to stick with a “sub type” roll and skip the sandwich loaf bread all together.

Cheese...ah yes...my secret. The meat has MUCHO flavor but here’s where you can keep the recipe “spice neutral” for everyone and simply kick YOUR sandwich up. I found Sargento’s Pepper Jack cheese slices and they are potent enough to make a substantial difference in the taste. I’ve used provolone and sharp cheddar - both of which are worthy options, but pepper jack is now my favorite.

Getting "creative" with the cheese - provolone & sharp cheddar

Brown your bread...can’t stress this enough. Slap some cheese on both sides and stick it under the broiler for a few moments. When it’s all gooey and melty and golden brown, you’re ready to build Heaven On A Bun. If you don’t use/like cheese we are clearly not people who would be friends - but, if you are one of “those” people, you can smear a smidgen of butter on both sides and broil it and SOMEHOW still enjoy your sandwich.

Side Note: From the above photo you may or may not be able to tell the error of my ways...I left the bread in just a few seconds too long and spent time standing over the kitchen sink using a trick that’s been handed down to women from generation to generation: take a knife and scrape off the burnt parts to remove the charring. Does anyone else remember their Mom doing this? What about the distinct noise made while doing it? Burning toast - it almost seems like a “thing of the past”, doesn’t it? This technique was used most in our house when Mom would make homemade cinnamon bread slices to go with a cup of hot tea for a late night snack. Brush some melted butter over bread slices and sprinkle a sugar/cinnamon mix over it then put it under the broiler for a few moments...pardon me...I must go make this...NOW.

What to serve on the side with the sandwich? While in Houston, my Lisa served it with fresh, sweet corn on the cob and it was heavenly. I...am not as ambitious. I mostly accompany it with chips - Dorito’s if I use a non spicy cheese. Otherwise if you’re using the pepper jack cheese stick with a plain chip. I love flavor in everything I eat, but flavored chips and a spicy sandwich makes for confusion. Stick with plain Sun Chips or Lay’s Original Stax. Regular Lay’s I would imagine would be too greasy. Ah...whatever!

If you try the French Dip recipe and find it as delightful as I have, please tell me about it! Let me know what you served as a “side dish” as well. If you tried this recipe and didn’t enjoy it - we simply can’t be friends. :) Just kidding. Did you do something different to change the flavor - did you use the meat for something else? Let me know please!! About 3 more roasts in and I might be looking to do something different with it!

I wonder...if you don’t use all the broth from the Full Monty version, I wonder if you could make a good French Onion soup? Caramelize some onions, find a good white, melty, bold, nutty cheese and make some bread cubes to put below the mountain of cheese then broil it?

What about using the meat for BBQ sandwiches? Drain off the juice, mix in a good BBQ sauce and heat it up...A friend brought over something that tasted really good but I haven’t tried making it for myself yet. Take a can of croissant rolls, divide each roll and stretch out the dough so it conforms to a muffin tin - like you’re making a “croissant cup”. (Geeze I am lacking words today!!) Add some pre cooked and seasoned BBQ meat to it, top it with cheese and bake it till the croissant is done.

What about doing something Mexican with it? Maybe add some green chilies to the cooking process, or when it’s done cooking add a can of Rotel? What about pork tacos with a creamy white cabbage slaw mix?

Whatever way you spice up your week, be sure to file this one away for when it gets good and chilly...in Florida that will be late December when it drops below 85. Not complaining, but just giving you a reference point. Have a great Fall and I’ll be checking back with you soon!! I might revisit my Chocolate Irish Cream Cheesecake recipe...

09.02.11 We The Church...

2011-09-02T21:13:00.002-04:00

Saw this on my way home one afternoon...

I was in Bible study the other day and one of the questions that was asked was "What would your ideal church look like?" It was a question that was asked in trepidation for the simple fact that as humans we tend to be "legalistic" and "fleshly" about our answers.

What makes a great church? Great Life Groups + fantastic children's programs + awesome worship music + a pastor that kept things interesting. When did we start expecting so little in the tools that help build up of our faith? Those answers were things that we admitted to thinking, but didn't really believe it. Our attendance has dropped off dramatically since our service went to early evening and there have been a myriad of reasons. I can imagine that was difficult for my pastor and leadership team to watch happen, but their prayer, I believe, has always been - just stay connected to a church family, no matter what.

One woman whose son is in seminary school as we speak, said that he was being taught (and he subsequently disagreed with the teacher) that to have elements like those mentioned above are what make for a "fail proof formula" for churches to succeed! We all processed that fact for a moment, responded with the appropriate emotion - utter disbelief - and then chimed in with "Ok, yeah - whatever...that's a load of crap". Ok, well I said that - not the other ladies. :)

But the question made me do something I've been doing a LOT this last year...examining the different aspects of a belief and deciding what I believe. Here goes...what I believe makes a great church:

First and foremost I believe that the land we've been given and the building that we hope to build is indeed not FOR us. It is a place to call home, but a building is not what makes a "church home"...it's His people who are living and walking out their faith in real and tangible ways. God is allowing us to move forward bit by bit by His leading, His power, His strength and most importantly FOR HIS PURPOSE.

Secondly, we, OCF, don't need to define what makes a great church. Jesus did that for us. He created that model AND the model of lifestyle for Christ following believers, regardless of our "religion". I was given a prophetic word to start reading the book of James and stay in it till I started to see things change. I believe this word is not just for me, but for the church as well!! Love is the starting and ending place. From there we build our church based on the wisdom and knowledge of the Bible and seeking His will, period.

I loved a story in Derek Prince's book "The Fruit of the Spirit". I'm horrible about summarizing a story, but I can tell you what stuck out at me. He made the point that EXPERIENCING God for one's self is the only way that He will become real to your heart and head. And that is my prayer for our church - each and every person who comes through those doors experiences Him for themselves so that they are moved to truly start living their lives with power! I can WANT for a friend to become a believer with all my heart and soul - but my enthusiasm is all for nothing - they have to want and experience Him for themselves. And here's what I love about God...the simple prayer of wanting to know and experience Him is something that He is FAITHFUL to do...FAITHFUL! Just ask Him and He WILL!!

These are 3 of the things that I believe make a church...and I'm still searching - not just to help define what I believe, but to find ways to walk it out, ways to serve, ways to pray!

When I see and hear things more than 2 or 3 times, I'm learning to pay attention. Here's what I believe God is building us up to be as family of believers...

We come expecting. We come expecting to experience Him in some way - not just in church, but every day of our lives!
We are unified in our beliefs and purpose...loving others, shaing our lives and speaking God's truth - simple and sweet.
We are moved and act and love in the power of God the Father, the Holy Spirit, and Christ - we can't do it in OUR strength!!
We seek Him in all things, BELIEVE He CAN and WILL have our backs, be with us always and go before us in ALL things.
We live like we believe that He cares and moves in & about EVERY aspect of our lives...every detail...He misses nothing and cares about all of it!

I have to tell you that I struggled with #4 this past year...wrestled, cried and mourned the idea that "He could, but would He do "it" (whatever "it" was at the time) for me?". Something in me changed and while I can't put a date and time stamp on it I simply started to believe. He transformed the way I was thinking. I simply believed that He is for me, that yes - there is a purpose for my life and I'm the only one who can walk it out. And I don't have to walk it out in my strength or power...I walk in His. It's not all unicorns and rainbows and glitter - but without a doubt it's more truly fulfilling than anything worldly.

I can imagine this is a lot to read and process...and it may be scary for someone who doesn't know me personally to read. I assure you, it's not. I'm simply becoming the person who God created me to be. It's a marathon, not a sprint. I miss my mark, change lanes and require do-over's most days. But there is progress...and God is faithful...and I am being transformed...and for the first time in my life I am happy.

Truly happy.

Truly blessed.

Truly amazed.

Here are some of the resources that have helped me...if you are searching, there are answers to be found!! There is one God who is faithful! Get excited about your life and get moving in your quest to learn about Him!!

Getting to know the Holy Spirit...Forgotten God

Learning about the promised gifts of the Holy Spirit for your life...The Gifts of the Spirit

Challenging your daily walk...Crazy Love

Understanding why you do what you do...Seven Longings of the Human Heart

As always, consider this a personal invitation to come visit OCF and experience God for yourself! Have a wonderful Labor Day weekend and we'll talk again soon!!

06.23.11 - Random Thursday

2011-06-23T09:36:00.000-04:00

I woke up early this morning and in the hours I am spending before my Thursday Morning group, this is what was on my mind...I'm sorry I felt the need to share.

I was listening to the music on my iPod and had it playing alphabetically by song title. I listened to Phenomenon by Rita Springer...good stuff...good stuff. Right after that, the theme song from Pirates of the Caribbean...the ride not the movie...came on. I love my taste in music.

Someone from the D.O.T. needs to explain to me HOW, if I'm in the far right lane of Blanding which gets ON THE INTERSTATE, HOW 35 cars can get up and moving on the ramp and I move 4 1/2 feet in 5 minutes. Road rage...I don't approve, but I completely understand.

I found a new author Susan Elizabeth Phillips and her book Natural Born Charmer and about fell out of the bed a couple of times from laughing. From this book came my new favorite one liner: I have so much character, adding beauty to the mix would just be greedy. One of the things I find frustrating about her love stories is that they tend to be rough around the edges (no morals, very few "values"). Have you ever heard of Janet Evanovich? Her series of books about bond enforcement agent Stephanie Plum is hysterical & Evanovich is a wonderful storyteller - wonderful! Unfortunately the language she uses goes so far beyond offensive at times, that it actually made me stop reading her. Come on ladies - your books could stand on their own if you took that stuff out!

Here's my quandary about mentioning these two authors. I love to read...love to read...but dang where do I draw the line?? Their books express blatant immorality...and bad language...and great story lines - so do I stop reading them? Well, I pose that question already knowing the answer - yes. I say yes for two reasons.

First, there is a nasty fact that what I take in through my eyes and ears takes root in even the most remote reaches of my mind. It helps to shape (for good or bad) how I think, what I think, what I say and even what I do. I liken it to the stories from friends who tell me that they took away certain video games from their kids because they started acting out or acting like the characters in the video.

Second, I have stopped reading them because I have found other authors like Joanne Fluke & Haywood Smith who do a great job of storytelling, character development and humor - without elicit "love" scenes and foul language. Fluke has a Hannah Swensen Mystery series about a cookie baker/shop owner who stumbles upon dead bodies. It's ironic that it could be funny, right? Fluke has niche with this series because she sprinkles the recipes to her cookies and other things throughout the book. Smith's first book that I read was Ladies of the Lake. In it, 4 sisters have to spend the summer together at a less than desirable lake lodge in other to inherit their beloved grandmother's fortune. Humor, honest relative relationships and a little bit of a love story...great beach read!

I have a fantastic library near me, but am having a hard time finding new authors without wading through a whole lotta mind junk - so...if you have a book or author that you would recommend, speak up please!

It's about time to head over to meet up with my Thursday Morning group to laugh, be encouraged and hear from God! This is our last day for the Faithful, Abundant & True study. It has been an amazing book to work through. It really does encourage you while working through some tough issues. Worth you time, I would say!

Have a wonderful Thursday!!

06.20.11 - It's A God Thing...

2011-06-20T12:09:00.002-04:00

I want to share with you a very unique experience, which includes what I believe is a “God moment”. I try to use that phrase sparingly because in my past, I’ve overused it and misapplied it egregiously. You know, it’s one of “those” moments where you suck the air in through your teeth and think - “Oooo yeah...not so much”. So - from that wisdom...I’m using the “this a God moment” phrase to cover this post.

In the last year of looking for a job I kind of neglected the idea that there would be an interview process. It’s not that I forgot, or didn’t think about it - but after a year it’s not what I was focused on. Then, God blessed me.

What happened?

A friend went out on a limb and recommended me to people that are in a small but trusted group of “movers & shakers”. From that, came something unique. Not a job interview, but a meeting with a person who said “When this person recommends someone, it’s worth my time to find out about them first hand”. Intellectually I know that’s known as networking, but there is nothing in my job history that would warrant this kind of attention. I’m not devaluing myself as a potential employee, but “it is what it is”.

What changed?

I tell you that, to say that preparing for an introduction meeting is what catapulted me into a completely different mindset...the right mindset. I am looking to do something I’ve never done before. I believe God led me to the logical conclusion that in order to do that, I’m going to have to do something I’ve never done before to get it. Most normal people realize this early on. I am in no way normal.

What did I learn?

I can honestly say that I didn’t know what that “something I’ve never done before” was until today, June 15, 2011. I had just left the building from my very first meeting and while wading through the self doubt and the “Did I really say and do that?” moments, I heard His still small voice...”You won’t succeed at this if you don’t start being honest with yourself then put all that effort into asking for what you really want”.

Me: You mean I should have asked her if I could take photos and write for the company?

Him: Well, that’s a little rough around the edges as far as verbiage goes, but when you get home we’ll work on it.

Me: You mean I just did that meeting for nothing?

Him: Noooooo...I’ve brought you to a point where you know...that you know...that you know....that you’re going to have to stop expecting that someone else can define or read your heart & mind. And the mistakes you made in that meeting, we’ll fix.

Me: Ok, well ouch God...that kind of hurt.

Him: ....

Me: So what you’re telling me is that I must define in unequivocal terms what my head and heart know to be true, AND figure out how to convey that in a meeting or job interview where I have no “professional experience” in either.

Him: Yes, and I’ll help you.

For the last year I have stood by what I know to be true...photography and writing bring me actual joy, and THAT my dear friends is what I want to do. I am standing on some Bible verses that I believe apply to this season of my life.

What do I believe?

Ecclesiastes 5:20 | “For he will not dwell unduly on the days of his life, because God keeps him busy with the joy of his heart”

For Caryn will not dwell unduly on the days of her life (stuff that’s not important), because God keeps her busy with the joy of her heart!!

Jeremiah 29:11 | “For I know the plans I have for you” says the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”

If I’m going claim those words as truth, just as importantly I have to believe in the One who can do it...

Ephesians 3:20 | “Now, to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly more than I could ever ask or think - to Him be the glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever”

And thanks to my friend who gave me this “it’s not for nothing” hope just the other day...

Romans 5: 2-5 | “...And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

In Caryn-neese: And not only that, but Caryn...she rejoices in her tribulations because she knows that tribulations produce perseverance in her. And that perseverance...gives her character to draw from. And that character...will give her hope. And that hope...WILL NOT DISAPPOINT her because the love that God has shown her dwells in her inner most being, deep down in her soul - and she is renewed in that hope because the Holy Spirit dwells in her, reveals to her the things of God, and brings to mind the love that He has for her.

What did God tell me?

Standing on those verses and letting the Holy Spirit guide me, I began writing...and rewriting...and revising...and defining...and believing...that these are the two most important questions anyone could ask me right now. And I will answer with absolute assurance...

Caryn, tell me about yourself.

In a nutshell, I was born in Florida and raised in Tennessee...you might notice my accent from time to time. I went to college for a couple of years close to home due to a family circumstance. When that circumstance changed, I decided to change my major to “real life” and joined the Army. The resume you have is 17 years worth of unforgettable experiences & doing it all in my strength. The most recent unforgettable experience is not listed - I have been unemployed for just over a year now. In that year I have worked to maintain a mental and spiritual balance - discovering what is important to me as a person, as a professional, and defining what success is going to look like. I believe with every fiber in my being that those three things will blend beautifully together. Furthermore I believe that it will happen in this next season of my life. I have learned that life is a marathon, not a hundred yard dash. I am grateful to be introduced to someone who so highly regarded by my friend and who is willing to help me in that process if at all possible.

Caryn, what type of position are you looking to fill?

My resume reflects a varied skill set in a variety of industries. Most of my positions have centered around clerical work, but as you can see I have experienced and done well at some very unique things - I’ve repaired helicopters, worked on unique projects and excelled in industries that I knew nothing about. However...I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you that I have a talent for writing and photography. Those two things bring me actual joy.

I had the opportunity to be asked a literally life changing question just a few months ago that simply required me to answer it:

“If God were to create “the perfect job” for you, what would it look like?

I began a stream of consciousness writing, then divided them into categories such as salary, position, employer and quite frankly - what type of employee I will commit to being. The list was 3 pages so after I defined and refined the various points, here’s the short version...

My ideal job would incorporate writing and photography. Those two things naturally lead into the technological/new media industry - things like blogs, podcasts and vidcasts. I would like to travel to a degree. My salary would be provisional, to live and give freely. And most important, it would be a reflection of me working and moving in my natural gifts and talents that I have been given. Oddly, I love to do the things that other people hate to do like get things organization, take the time to figure out how to do it better (process improvement) and I have learned the value of serving my fellow man.

My ideal company would be one in which their services are centered around people. There’s a difference between companies who offer services to people then give back to communities & charities. What I’m referring to is a company whose services center around serving & helping people. In addition, there needs to be a genuine desire to build real relationships with people - and I believe that begins in the workplace. To me, real relationships mean that egos (and sometimes titles) are put aside & there is a genuine willingness to work together to provide excellent service. You simply do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do.

This year has been full of tough but rewarding lessons. THE toughest question I had to answer as honestly as I could was - how do I know I am successful? I am successful when I am living a well balanced life - mentally, physically and spiritually. I am successful when I’m working in my natural abilities and giftings according to His purpose and plan. I am successful when I consistently learn new things and am willing to step outside my comfort zone. I am successful when I know that I am helping others and making a difference.

Thank you...

To everyone who has asked me these questions in the last year, I’m sorry. I am sorry for whatever answer I provided you at the time as I broke into tears. Not being able to answer these question was simply embarrassing, but it’s what brought me to this post. God redeems. These are tough questions to answer truthfully and I am grateful for every day I spent learning the value of them.

I believe that what I have defined here, is what I want for my life & my career, and they are things that fall into the will of God and His plan for my life. I believe that God will bless me with these things in the most unexpected...the most beautiful...and the most meaningful ways - because He is a God who is faithful to His Word: “For he will not dwell unduly on the days of his life, because God keeps him busy with the joy of his heart”.

I believe I have done every conceivable thing possible to find a job. I also believe that God would not let me settle for “just anything”. He led me to define what was important and gave me the words to express it. Thank you to the person who helped catapult me to the level with God...if ever there were a testimony for “real relationships”, here it is.

Please know that I am honored and moved to tears every time I think about the people who have already come along side me to offer their support and words of encouragement. Who earnestly pray when they don’t know what to pray for because I couldn’t tell them. And who go out on a limb in ways that I have never seen before. If you feel led to pray for me, thank you - these are the specific things I am asking & believing God for in this next season of my life. I look forward to paying forward all that has been given to me during this time!!

With all of my heart and mind, Thank You.

6.19.11 - A Week (or so) In Photos....

2011-06-19T13:32:00.001-04:00

First and foremost - Happy Fathers Day to all!!

And to all of those single mom's who fill both roles - thank you for doing it!! This is of course my father. This photo had to have been taken in his early 20's and the man standing next to him reaching for the drink is G.F. Russman, one of his life-long friends. He taught me many things...Happy Father's Day to the man who taught me that sometimes...life is just freakin' funny and that wearing a goofy grin like this will sometimes "make it all better"... well, a silly grin & a mixed beverage. Kidding...*ahem*

This is Ryan Shelley, a young and wonderful artist who just released a new album - Sights & Sounds. He gave a release party out at our new property and it was one of the most perfect evenings! Perfect weather, beautiful setting, good friends and of course WONDERFUL music!! Keep your ear out for Ryan...he's going places...even if these photos aren't - geeze these are bad!

This is what Thump looks like THIS week...exact same as last

week, but I was stretching for material these last couple

of weeks, so there ya go...

This just made me laugh outright...Get it Thump, get it!!

Maybe our wildfires haven't made the news (not sure cause I don't have

cable) HOWEVER, "we" - Jacksonvillians are freakin' struggling

with them as well as Arizona and other states.

Thank you to the amazing men & women who see firefighting

as their calling in life...wow, you rock and God Bless!!

One last photo of my puppy dog...I've always considered him a contemplative dog...

I think "tolerant" is the word I'm looking for...and immune to my shennanigans.

Have a wonderful Father's Day - day!!

P.S. It really has been an amazing week. I've written out the post, but am hesitating to post it for some reason. I don't have a job yet, if that's what you were thinking...but I did see God move in an amazing way in my life the last couple of weeks so stay tuned!! Have a wonderful Sunday!!

06/05/11 - Psalm 23, Part Deux

2011-06-05T09:10:00.001-04:00

Psalm 23

¹ The LORD is my shepherd;

I shall not want.

² He makes me to lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside the still waters.

³He restores my soul;

He leads me in the paths of righteousness

For His name’s sake.

⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil;

For You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You anoint my head with oil;

My cup runs over.

⁶ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

All the days of my life;

And I will dwell in the house of the LORD

Forever.

I covered v. 1, 2 and the first part of Psalm 23 here.

So it’s Saturday evening around 9 p.m., and my dog is chasing many things in his sleep. I have to admit that it’s kind of fun to watch. He has this bizarre ability to know when I click on the “video capture” feature of my computer, because he will instantly stop mumbling, barking, flailing his paws and doing this really bizarre eye fluttering thing as soon as I click the mouse to record. He can somehow differentiate THAT click from the other 1500 clicks I do when I’m writing. Now that my friends...is my “Random Thought For The Day” and one amazing dog.

³He leads me in the paths of righteousness

For His name’s sake.

HE LEADS ME IN THE PATHS OF RIGHTEOUSNESS...

[SIDE NOTE] Before I even get started, can I just tell you that words like righteousness, justification, and sanctification are words that I have to look up every...single...time...I come across them. This does not bother me, but like several other things, they are hard concepts to wrap my head and heart around. They intimidated me at first, but that stopped when I read the definitions. Now they get me excited for God!!

He leads | To drive forth, to proceed. It’s interesting to note that the word lead in verse 3 is different than the one used in v.2. In v.2 the Hebrew word nahal has a primary definition of to lead or guide. In v.3 the word nahag has the primary definition to drive. Why the difference? I see v.2 as God bringing me to the correct place and position SO THAT in v.3 He can show me how to operate, and be competent, and be the force that enables me to carry out His work.

So let’s look at the other words...He’s driving me where?

In the paths | In, I think, is being used as a preposition - so to be in the paths means that I would be an integral part of an activity. That’s kind of neat...I’m not just walking or cruising, I’m an integral part of this force that’s showing me how to operate and be competent.

Paths | Metaphorically speaking, a direction in life...a way to live. There are two words used for paths...the second is agol (or agowl) which means means to revolve, circular.

[Talking this out here] This path that I am on is to revolve around God. The way that I live is to center around God-like ways. This path always brings me back to God.

Righteousness | A way to live rightly before God. To say and do the right things according to God’s expectations, not the expectations of man.

In v.2 He has “led me beside still waters” - He positions me to be in a place of substance and peace...and NOW in v.3 this “path of righteousness” is taking me from a place where I have been “fed” and “filled” and to a place where He’s driving me to LIVE OUT LOUD, to PARTAKE IN, to BE AN INTEGRAL PART of a life that is good and right, and fulfilling before Him.

[SIDE NOTE] Let me state emphatically in reference to that last statement, that God doesn’t teach you everything, THEN wants you to live. That big ole fat lie that will be explained better in a series in the works that I’m calling “Christianity 101: Ten Really Important Things I Learned The Hard Way”...it’s a somewhat comical and quite honest review of things that no one ever told me about becoming a Christian. All of that to say that life with Christ is a process - it is NOT learning everything then being sent out. And most importantly it’s about developing a relationship with Him.

So He’s driving me to LIVE OUT LOUD, to PARTAKE IN, to BE AN INTEGRAL PART of a life that is good and right, and fulfilling before Him...why?

FOR HIS NAME’S SAKE...

Name’s | Reputation, memory, renown.

Sake | Purpose, in order that. To respond, answer or reply. To testify.

These are two powerhouse words when put together!!

He’s driving me to LIVE OUT LOUD a GOOD and RIGHT way...

Because it’s according to His purpose

Because we CAN do it as a Son or Daughter of the Most High God!

Because it’s His answer to “living in this world, but not being of it”!

Because it’s our testimony to someone who doesn’t know Him!

Because it’s a right response FROM a saved sinner TO a loving and living God!

I live right for His reputation - when I’m living right I produce His fruit...fruit that He and His people are known by...their love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.

I live right SO THAT I can bring to memory and speak of the ways in which He has worked in my life - protecting me, guiding me, teaching me, loving me. Talk about a phenomenal exercise for a believer to do...sit down and start recalling what He has done for you! Why? To find a new strength, a new hope, a reason to continually seek Him out and keep moving forward...TO LIVE OUT LOUD!!!

Ok, how excited are you right now??? You’re excited, right? Chew on that for a while cause we’re about to come up to “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...” part. I just found some notes from a Charles Stanley sermon I heard almost 2 years ago and it’s very comforting - and dare I say exciting??? Hopefully I can blend his sermon and my thoughts together and make some sense in my head of v.4 (and without his attorney's coming after me for getting it "that wrong" and misquoting him! HA!) Hang in there!!

Psalm 23 is a fantastic place to rest in scripture for a while - life is a marathon, not a 100 yard dash. Remember that this chapter is a testament to who God is, what He CAN do, what He WILL do, and what our correct response is...it’s God revealing His plan and purpose! WOO HOO!!

Have a phenomenal Sunday...I know mine is off to a great start so far!

06.01.11 - He Comforts Me...[Updated]

2011-06-01T14:29:00.002-04:00

Psalm 23
¹ The LORD is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
² He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
³He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
⁵ You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
⁶ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD
Forever.

I follow "The Pioneer Woman" blog and the other day I came across a photo of Psalm 23 tattooed on a young mans arm. After a rough night, I was reminded of it and decided to do a word study.

I am not a Biblical scholar, but I am armed with a concordance, exhaustive dictionary, a brain and the Holy Spirit - so watch out! I hope this comes to life for you as much as it did for me! Keep in mind this is what God showed me - I encourage you to search it even more out for yourself!!
I have often wondered why this passage is frequently read at funerals. No disrespect intended, but this is a promise for the living and it doesn’t make much sense to read it over me when my body is in the ground and I’m Home celebrating. I guess that could be categorized as “Random Thought For The Day”. Moving right along...
[SIDE NOTE] I love to see who is doing all the action - He makes, He leads, He restores, You comfort, You prepare, You anoint. And us? I will not fear, I will be in a state of rest, I will be comforted, I will be anointed, I will be given mercy, I will dwell with God...forever. I am liking this Psalm more and more!!
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD...

LORD | Anytime it’s all capitalized, it’s referring to God as a covenant maker & keeper. So to me this is an agreement with believers proclaiming His abilities, His goodness, and His promises. How wonderful that it may have been penned by a man such as David...I must research this further...

Shepherd | To given one’s attention to, to bring up and care for one until they are fully grown in a particular manner and to direct the motion or positioning of.

So here God (the one who SPOKE the oceans into being) is promising to direct & care for me...to take full responsibility for me. Wait till we get to “paths of righteousness”...that one blew my mind as well.

I SHALL NOT WANT...

Want | I will not need or lack any good thing. To be decreased is another definition...my salvation and heritage as a Child of the Most High God is secure and will not be taken from me (decreased).
There is another interesting facet to the word want. It means to bereave...“be-”: thoroughly or excessively. “-reave”: to steal or raid in order to plunder. The word is commonly used in the sense of loss and sorrow. But I feel the meaning goes a bit deeper and speaks of God protecting my joy so that I don’t stay in a prolonged place of sorrow and loss. While sad and unexplainable things happen, the joy He fills me with is protected so that I can not be stolen or shaken from, that place of being filled with Him.
HE MAKES ME TO LIE DOWN IN GREEN PASTURES...

He makes | While my concordance doesn’t offer up a definition for the word makes, my dictionary has some doozies!
He prepares me to come to this place.
He cause me to become more and more like Him.
He enters into a contract with me and binds Himself to me...and I to Him so that I can enter His resting place.
He appoints or designates (someone) to a position...He positions me to be able to take in the fulness of what He has prepared for me.
Lie | How awesome is it that He uses the phrase to lie? To be at rest. There is a time for our bodies and minds to be at rest!
Down | This is strictly my thought, but to lie down represents taking up a right or correct position or posture before a holy God. To be in a state of rest at the feet of Christ.
There is a wonderful song that I can’t remember the name of right this moment, but the verse it brought to mind was “All I want to do is lose my self in You...lay back in Your arms and just let go...let it be, to me, according to Your word...Your ways are higher than mine....”. The more I immerse myself in Him, the more enticing that place is to be!! It’s this state of being where my mind is at rest, my body is rejuvenated, my soul is restored and I am protected...can’t you just picture it - laying back in the arms of God???
Green | If I’m not mistaken, this color symbolizes life, growth & prosperity.
Pastures | These can figuratively represent a place or activity regarded as offering new opportunities, or a source of nourishment.
This series of words almost seem like a contradiction don’t they? He brings me to a place of growth, prosperity, opportunity and nourishment...to be at rest and at peace.
In my life I can tell you that I have struggled with being “at peace” recently...often...daily. My “worldly mind” says - you’re nothing without a job...God will never reveal His purpose for your life...it’s unattainable because you’re a sinner...you’ll end up homeless and hopeless without a job. Yeah, my mind is that warped at times.
But then...here’s GOD’S WORDS...HIS LOVE LETTER TO ME...which shows me THE TRUTH. And it allows me to take the words and WITH MY OWN MOUTH, OUT LOUD, SPEAK THEM so that they now have more power and CAN’T return void to God...because God is faithful to do all things He has promised.
HE LEADS ME BESIDE THE STILL WATERS...

Beside | The word threw me off a bit because I was seeing it as literal - He leads me beside...meaning that it puts God positionally outside me instead of dwelling in me. If I break down the word, side has the meaning: a position to the left or right of an object. So now when I picture myself being led beside the still waters, I am positionally at the right hand of Him in respect to Him being on the throne - not because of who I am, but because of who He is and what He promises.

Still | To be still means to be in a state or rest, ease and quiet. A settled (established) spot, a home.

Waters | It’s a basic substance needed in life that requires ingestion. God tells us the water that He offers is living, and generally speaking it symbolizes purification.
So...when I read the whole sentence again it shows me a different picture - He positions me to be in a place of substance and peace and at rest. Man, I want to take this a bit further...He calls me to a place of salvation to be and function along side Him working in His abilities, doing the things that are intended to create His Kingdom here on Earth...now.
HE RESTORES MY SOUL...

Restore | To turn back, bring back, or go back.
He brings me back to a right place and the more I know Him and follow Him and trust Him, the more I will choose to turn from the worldly things.
Soul | The word denotes life being breathed into me by God and me taking it in...as in the desire to live and take it in...to want to be whole. To be whole, to consider ALL that is within a person - body, mind, soul and spirit.
He brings me to a point of - returns me to the place of - being whole, complete, full, perfect.
I want to stop here for today. I’ve been sitting slumped over on my bed for a while now - my laptop battery is about to give my thighs 3rd degree burns, my dog has taken to making one of my reference books a pillow, and I feel a monster cramp coming on in my lower back...and it’s time for lunch and my 34th potty break of the day :)
Thank you PW for posting the photo of that young mans arm...since I don’t believe in coincidences this verse means just that much more to me to be inspired to research it. It’s a gentle reminder of where my heart and mind need to be right now to spite my circumstances - at peace and at rest because He’s in control and sees the big picture. God rocks.
I’ll be back tomorrow with more!

And P.S. Ree Drummond, The Pioneer Woman, has NO idea who I am nor did she ask me to do this, nor does she endorse me, my blog - or craziness - in any way. The photo inspired me...really...that's it. :)

05.11.11 - One Happy Boy

2011-05-11T09:14:00.000-04:00

Scenes from our morning at the beach last week. Thump really seemed to enjoy himself and I know I had a great time trying to photograph him, interact with people & other dogs, and just relax.

Excited to be here!!

Itty bitty dog compared to the shear size of the beach

Enjoying the belly rubs

En Guardia!

I swear the dog knows how to snicker...

Thoughtful pose

Love those velvet ears

Before...

After...

Ending the morning with some meditation :)

I hope your morning is just as peace-full at Thumps!

05.04.11 - Ode to Nancy

2011-05-04T08:08:00.026-04:00

A couple of years ago I met a woman by the name of Nancy. She truly is like no other person I've ever met, and almost everyone in our church would give you a different reason as to why - she touched many lives. And by the way - she's not dead - she's just not living in Florida anymore.

The one comment everyone could make is that Nancy dances before the Lord with wild abandon. It's one of the ways she worships God. Her heart and mind seem to go to another place. I can imagine we're all a bit envious to a point because it means that she's engaged with her whole heart. We THINK that's not easy to do, but Nancy proves otherwise.

So there I was the other night watching a Charlie Brown DVD collection. Snoopy is a sweet childhood memory. At this point in my life I can appreciate the wisdom Mr. Schultz imparted through a dog. That's kind of an awkward connection to Nancy but let me see if I can make it a bit more clear.

Linus is standing on the sidewalk when Snoopy comes up dancing with great joy...he finds it to be contagious.

Don't you just love this?

Lucy, being the "ray of sunshine" that she is, tries to discourage them with her looks & her words

When SHE has had enough she says...”Disgraceful...dance, dance, dance. If you keep hanging around with that stupid dog you’ll end up just as worthless as he is! You’ll be nothing! Do you hear me?” You’ll be nothing!

As you can see, this disturbs them greatly...

In the great wisdom of Linus he says...

“500 years from now who’ll know the difference??”

Maybe it's "just me", but that spoke profoundly on a few levels.

Why do I try to be anything other than what I was created to be?
Why do I not listen to my heart and figuratively "dance when it's time to dance"?
Why can't I remember that success in God's eyes is what counts at the end of my life?

Most important...

Why can't I just tell the people who judge, try to discourage and bring me down to just KISS OFF! Ok, well that may be my flesh speaking...I'm sure there's a better (translation = tactful) way to do it. We'll see.

Today...I am most thankful for GRACE.

04.24.11 - Easter And Other Heart Matters

2011-04-25T12:56:00.002-04:00

Where to start?

It rocked.

The End.

If you’ve been following my Tweets, Facebook posts or photos on Flickr you’ll know that this Easter was going to be just a little extra special this year. Oakleaf Christian Fellowship acquired 28 wonderfully unique acres of land from God, located in the vicinity of the Oakleaf community.

Much love and hard work went into cutting down “the jungle” to a manageable size over the last two weeks. I’m sure we’ll receive tons of thank you letters from surrounding communities as they wake to find snakes, frogs and other creepy crawly things showing up on their front porches, in their pools, and generally sunning themselves on their outdoor furniture. We’re givers - what can we say?

SUNRISE PRAYER SERVICE

So Easter morning started off with a sprinkling of youth and adults who came out to the property to usher in the morning with God...watching the darkness being pushed out by the light...thanking Him, praising Him and asking for protection, provision and blessings. I’m so thankful to have had the experience.

I have a bit of “performance anxiety” when it comes to praying OUT LOUD. The fact remains that I felt God had laid on my heart specific things about the property & the "essential elements" that are on it now. Now...what I actually prayed sounded nothing like what my heart had felt but I’m thankful for the opportunity just the same. God knows my heart and I don’t ever want to be afraid to praise Him. I photographed what my heart saw, not what my eyes saw.

Lord you’ve given us land - a place for You to show us how to create Heaven on Earth.Teach us how to be vigilant watchman & diligent caretakers of what you have given us because this is part of Your Kingdom - where YOU are King of kings & Lord of lords, and where we serve with truth and love.

You’ve given us trees and how beautifully they transform this landscape and help stabilize the ground. Cause our roots to go deep and continually grow deep so that we weather the storms in your grace. Weave us strongly together as a family knowing that not everyone is meant to stay - but that those bonds You’ve created will forever connect them to this place and given them a sense of belonging.

Lord, you’ve given us a house - it’s a structure that speaks of a foundation which has been established and it speaks of a history. God we acknowledge that its history will unfold as we inhabit it more and more - but Lord we ask that you break off any generational curses that inhabit this place and consecrate this as a holy place where generational blessings begin. A home whose foundational corner stone is literally laid by you and every stone will be evidence of Your ability and provision.

The stream of moving & living water...Lord, manifest Your peace here & let life be found here. Give us grace to be genuine in what we say and do. Let this be a place of rejuvenation and nourishment and a source of blessing manifested in Your power. Let the souls who come searching here be awakened & satisfied and leave abundantly prepared to do battle.

Lastly Lord you’ve given us a barn...a storehouse! Show us how to be a transparent source of Your strength for the believer and the unbeliever, the weary and the strong - to build your children up and send them out. May we never forget to be humbled and stand in awe of you as we see our storehouses filled then emptied and know that it’s truly Your provision and will, not man’s...because you are a God who can do exceedingly abundantly more than we could ever ask or think.

Lord, as Job cried out to God - “Lord I know that You can do everything, and that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You.” Show us how and where to join you every day in what you’re doing in this place. AMEN!

EASTER SERVICE

Around 10:00 a.m. the hardest working praise band in the city...

...made the service today wonder-fully, wonderful. Huge shade trees & a slight breeze made it that much better. Gooder? Whatever - it rocked. With the band decked out in their full gear and the voices of a lot of happy people, we brought the surrounding neighborhood to their full upright and awake position.

One of the things that is at the forefront of my mind when we gather - wether it be a sunrise service or a regular Sunday service - surely He is walking among us. This evening I had the thought - what if Jesus manifest himself in the form of a stranger. Could I have been so busy worshiping that I didn’t see Him? And if he did - would I have recognized Him?

My minds eye could picture Him walking in and around the families as we sang.

Maybe when Jeff started speaking He leaned against a tree and stayed for a few moments...then he saw that things were going to be just fine and decided to move among us.

Maybe he noticed the kids playing in the fields and ran along side them.

Maybe as they were using sidewalk chalk to praise Him in a “childlike” way He sat encouraging them in what they were drawing. Who knows...maybe God does look like this!

My pastor seems to have a way for making certain verses in the Bible come alive, and I think that’s a direct reflection of his heart. Here’s what my heart heard today...

“Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb; and he saw the linen cloths lying there and the handkerchief that had been around His head, not lying with the linen cloths but folded together in a place by itself.”

I’m going to try and do justice to the historical significance I heard about the folded napkin/handkerchief this morning...when the master of a house was at the table eating, the servant would know to clear the table if the master took the napkin, crumpled it up and left it on the table. However, if he took the napkin and folded it, that signified to the servant not to clear the table because the master wasn’t finished and would be coming back. Can't you already see where this is going? It gave me goosebumps when I heard it...

Jesus folded the handkerchief that had been around his head and laid it in the tomb to signify...”I’m not done yet! I am coming back!”. How sweet that Jesus would include this seemingly small detail in the victorious telling of His resurrection...how profoundly a folded handkerchief spoke to me today! It’s not finished until He says it’s finished!

At the end of the service, Rob stood in unity with the band and blew the shofar. If you've never heard it, it's kind of hard to describe...what I do know is that it grabs your attention...and in my mind it's loud enough that surely God hears it :) For me personally, that moment represented the ushering in of the continual presence of God to His land...and it took my heart to a whole other level.

Just a parting thought of goodness...

My hope is that your Easter was filled with just as many pleasant, funny and heart warming moments as well!!

04.15.11: Be Encouraged...There's A Time To Cast & Gather!

2011-04-15T11:33:00.001-04:00

Most people (read = normal people) aren't as big of a "word nerd" as I am. In specific I thrive when I read something in the Bible and find myself unable to go to sleep till I get to the root of what a particular word or phrase means. I use to rely on the "cliff notes" found in my Study Bible and while they have many valid explanations, I find that utilizing an exhaustive concordance helps me measurably more. It focuses me more on what GOD said in the original Hebrew or Greek rather than what man thinks it says. The fact that I'm posting my thoughts on a public blog is ironic...I know. Whatever...

So it happened again...I read a well known passage and was curious as to why God would use some very specific wording. I laid my head down and said I was tired and would research it first thing in the morning. About 20 minutes later I got up because my mind wouldn't stop till I unraveled the mystery for myself. It was a great encouragement to me so I hope it will be that for you as well.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

I love that the Bible uses absolutes like in v. 1 - “To EVERYthing there IS a SEASON. A TIME for EVERY PURPOSE under Heaven”

Granted it took a while to get that song out of my head, but here's what I discovered.

For all things of importance, there occurs a fix of time in which something will happen as long as necessary, as much as it is necessary and to the degree that it is necessary for the whole pleasure and purpose of furthering the Kingdom/creating Heaven on Earth.

So I counted and there are 28 (action words) wishes, desires, pleasures and requests of our Father in Heaven to us...at least that's the way I see it...BUT, verse 5 is what caught my eye!!

Time to cast away stones - cast: throw, fling, overthrow. Stones: that which is stored in, that which we are supposed to dead to, a place of extreme cold/dark, confining, fortified, established, manufactured.

God, through trials, will throw out, tear down, overthrow those walls. He will purge us of that which is bad - habits, thinking patterns, the dark places in our heart and mind, that which hold us back or conforms us into a bad image (the world) which does not reflect God. He will get us to “unlearn” everything we think we know and begin us on a path that is of true knowledge.

Time to gather stones - gather: to collect, enfold (surround, hold, veil, drape so as to be apparent through). Stones: build, plumb line: used for finding the depth (that which is below the surface, to the extent, intensity of emotion, the apparent existence, the complexity of, extensive detailed study or knowledge, the strength) of water or determining the vertical on an upright surface

God is going to look below the surface - of me to find what is true and good and right. He will perfect me so that (He is not satisfied until ) my roots, knowledge, love of Him goes deep and runs true. He will give me trials to perfect my commitment and my love...and faith and things which are not seen yet (hoped for).

It’s hard not to look at this list and see that each one has an opposite - an extreme if you will. It could almost appear as though God is presenting both so that your life would be a consistent yo-yo of seasons - IE war/peace. I think what God is saying is that there are opposites to 1. keep you consistent during both - keeping your eyes focused on Him allows extremes to come and go, but GOD will remain the same and He wants US to remain the same...at rest in Him & 2. they are opposites, which help you to appreciate the counterpart...to know/recognize the difference...to know what to love is and is not, to know what hate is and is not. To know when to weep and what for and know when to laugh and at what.

I hope you are encouraged to dig into this passage of scripture even more to find out what other seasons that God has planned for us...it's pretty amazing!! Have a great weekend!

03.14.11: I Don't Want To Go...

2011-03-14T12:41:00.003-04:00

I’m going to share one of the most personal things about myself and how it relates to a song called “I Don’t Want To Go” by Avalon. I think maybe I put off writing about something so personal because I didn’t know how to translate “a whole lotta hurt” to “a whole lotta joy” for you...and remain faithful to the title of my blog...Caryn’s Life Rocks!!! But God is good...and by speaking truth and giving all the glory to Him...it simply can’t be held in any longer!!

I heard this song for the first time just days after my husband said “I want a divorce...marriage shouldn’t be this hard”. Insert * gut blow * here as well as my response : “Who the hell told you that lie??” Just being honest...

After that day God spent an unquantifiable amount of time (translation = I dare not tell you how long) stripping away everything...every...thing...that I had placed my “faith” in. Let me just add that the concept of time includes: as long as, as much as, to the degree which it is necessary...um, ouch!

First let me say that I had NO idea...what real “faith” was. Nor did I truly grasp that God wanted to be in a one-on-one relationship with me...but I was wearing that “I’m a Christian” label like it was my own custom design. Every day He shows me another facet of FAITH - a new depth, a new height, a broader vision, a simpler version...it’s amazing.

Second, let me say that I truly believe God did it this way because of who I am and how I learn. Some people don’t require this much work, but I did...do...did...ok, do. He chose the way that I would best understand Him and His purpose - to show me that He is enough and that nothing I had put my faith in was worth holding on to. You may also think - wow, I would never follow a God who did something like that! Yeah, I can understand that too...but not now. My heart and mind back then, were in a dark place saying “To hell with you God!” and all the while God was saying “To Heaven with you Caryn”. (Thanks Kay Arthur for that quote!!)

But let me assure you in this moment - to spite the fact that it was painful...and humiliating...and daily I cried out for Him to take away the pain - I can tell you with absolute assurance...deep down inside my heart and mind I can be - and am - most grateful for every lesson...every pain...every tear. I found solid ground in His promise that if I walked THROUGH the valley WITH Him, that what waited for me on the other side (the life that I’m living right now) would be filled with peace and joy...and MY GOD...is faithful...and abundant.

Third, my “faith” was displaced in the “things of this world” so subtly that when God started to deal with me bit by bit - even I was shocked at what I believed. Without going into great detail, the “realization of the Enemy’s subtlety” is the #1 reason I stopped watching television and listening to secular music. 98% of what was being pumped into my head, heart and mind was pure...simple...subtle...lies. The Enemy doesn’t have to move mightily to get a foothold in your heart and mind - and I say that from experience!!

So after those realizations & when I cried out to Him for help...it was from that place where I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt - I could no longer live without being in relationship with Him. When I heard this song I clung to every word until it became part of me. It’s what committed me to church and kept me believing that to spite the fact I was 100% broken - He WOULD build me back up. For me, this song was simply life changing.

You changed my world...

when You came to me.

You drove a passion...

in my soul, down deep.

Lord to follow you in everything...

I don’t wanna go somewhere

if I know that You’re not there -

Cause I know that me without You is a lie!

And I don’t want to walk that road...

be a million miles from Home...

cause my heart needs to be where You are...

so I don’t wanna go

So come whatever...

(Whatever may come)

I’ll stick with You...

(Right by your side)

I want You near me...

Call me crazy or a fool.

For forever I promise You..

I don’t wanna go somewhere

if I know that You’re not there -

cause I know that me without You is a lie!

And I don’t want to walk that road...

be a million miles from Home...

cause my heart needs to be where You are...

so I don’t wanna go...

Without your touch...without your love - filling me like an ocean.

For your grace is enough - enough for me!

To never want to go somewhere if I know that You’re not there...

And here I am a many years later loving this song for a whole other reason, from a whole new mountain top perspective...same words, different Caryn - and honey, the view is freakin’ beautiful!!! BE ENCOURAGED!!

03.09.11: Be Encouraged..Cause There's A Season For It!!

2011-03-09T20:35:00.002-05:00

Most people (read = normal people) aren't as big of a "word nerd" as I am. In specific I thrive when I read something in the Bible and find myself unable to go to sleep till I get to the root of what a particular word or phrase means.

I use to rely on the "cliff notes" found in my Study Bible and while they have many valid explanations, I find that utilizing an exhaustive concordance helps me measurably more. It focuses me more on what GOD said in the original Hebrew or Greek rather than what man thinks it says. The fact that I'm posting my thoughts on a public blog is ironic...I know. Whatever...

So it happened again last night that I read a well known passage and was curious as to why God would use some very specific wording. I laid my head down and said I was tired and would research it first thing in the morning. About 20 minutes later I got up because my mind wouldn't stop till I unraveled the mystery for myself. It was a great encouragement to me so I hope it will be that for you as well.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

I love that the Bible uses absolutes like in v. 1 - “To EVERYthing there IS a SEASON. A TIME for EVERY PURPOSE under Heaven”

Granted it took a while to get that song out of my head, but here's what I discovered.

everything - ALL things of importance
is - exists
season - a fix of time
time - opportunity - which God alone knows and reveals - during which certain conditions persist. As long as, as much as, to the degree that.

God knows the time when to reveal that which is proper for you, an opportunity for you, an appointed time for you - suitable for a given activity. God knows the time when it is right for His judgment. Things will persist for a period of time. Something will happen as long as is necessary, as much as it is necessary and to the degree that it is necessary. And there will be time to advance from a place/thing (season, relationship). To pass on to someone/something (mentoring/wise counsel). To continue in something (a work).

every - not some, not most, ALL, EVERY, COMPLETELY, WHOLLY
purpose - wish/delight/desire
under Heaven - and the purpose is not always for Caryn, but certainly the idea that my hope is wrapped in Heavens purpose exists. These seasons that happen are for the Kingdom and to further its purposes - that which God delights in.

So I counted and there are 28 (action words) wishes, desires, pleasures and requests of our Father in Heaven to us...at least that's the way I see it. What caught my eye was v. 5

A time to cast away stones

Cast: throw, fling, overthrow....I like the visual that "God flings" something from my life
Stones: that which is stored in, that which we are supposed to dead to, a place of extreme cold/dark (this totally said "my mind" to me), confining, fortified about us (walls we've built "for our own good"), established in (maybe habits, ways of thinking).

God, through trials & experiences, will throw out, tear down, overthrow those walls. He will purge us of that which is bad - habits, thinking patterns, the dark places in our heart and mind, that which hold us back or conforms us into a bad image (that world SO encourages!!) which does not reflect God. He will lead us to “unlearn” everything we think we know and begin us on a path that is of true knowledge.

And a time to gather stones

Gather: to collect, enfold (surround, hold, veil, drape so as to be apparent through).
Stones: used to build, as a plumb line: used for finding the depth (that which is below the surface, to the extent, intensity of emotion, the apparent existence, the complexity of, extensive detailed study or knowledge, the strength) of water (life) or determining the vertical on an upright surface (correct positioning).

God is going to look below the surface of me to find what is true and good and right. I am ALREADY seen as perfect to Him but there is a process to get me there until He takes me home!!! He is not satisfied until my roots, knowledge, and love of Him goes deep and runs true. He will give me trials to perfect my commitment and my love...and faith and things which are not seen yet (hoped for).

I drew a much needed amount of HOPE from these few words because I know that God is faithful and will use every resource under Heaven to conform me to His perfect will and image. During this season of my life I need a reminder every single day...sometimes every single hour that He IS WITH me and is FOR me and has a PLAN and that this season is a FIXED amount of time. Here's praying I become a bit more of a quick learner cause this season is a bit um...painful, encouraging and amazing all wrapped into one.

For me, that renewed HOPE from what I learned helped to push out the feeling that I'm "alone" because I know that He's constantly with me working to make this happen. It also pushes out my "signature quote" about how I think God sees me: "Oh Caryn, I'm trying so hard sweetie but you're just not getting it...it would be easier to smite you for your own good." When my hope is strengthened, that thought vanishes because I know that God put those verses on my heart (would not let me rest) until I unearthed the truth for myself and it became part of who I am now!!!! WOO HOO!!!

One other thought....It’s hard not to look at those 8 verses and see that each purpose has an opposite - an extreme if you will. It could almost appear as though life is meant to be lived in this constant state of yo-yo-id-ness seasons - a time to weep and a time to cry for example. But I don't think that anymore....

I think what God is saying is that there are opposites to each season so that you can be equipped to 1. keep you consistent during both - keeping your eyes focused on Him allows extremes (seasons) to come and go, but GOD will remain the same (faithful, loving, truthful, provisional, perfect) and He wants US to remain the same by being in a constant state of rest in Him & 2. they are opposites, which help you to appreciate the counterpart...to know/recognize the difference...to know what to love is and is not, to know what hate is and is not. To know when to weep and what for and to know when to laugh and at what.

BE ENCOURAGED!!

03.05.11: Pixar Silly Shorts

2011-03-05T13:19:00.001-05:00

I found a collection of 13 “ Pixar Short Films” on one CD at my library. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but found 4 notable ones that I think are worth your time to You Tube or find the DVD. Here’s what made me laugh...

for the birds - This short puts a comical image to all those birds you see sitting on telephone lines. It’s also a call to social justice for anyone who doesn’t “fit in”. The characters themselves are incredibly cute so I took a few more screen shots to help explain the story-line.

A group of birds flock together...a little too closely together which begins multiple confrontations between the species.

Then along comes one of the species...

...who doesn’t quite fit in...

and they mock him. A little to “blindly” he joins them and turns their world on it’s side.

In an effort to shoo the newcomer they peck at his tightly clutched talons only to realize in a split second what will happen when the intruder leaves....

In a twist of fate, the little species becomes outcasts themselves when they are rendered featherless from being flung off the wire...

...then intruder then laughs and laughs at their state...

...but you get the feeling he’s laughing from the hilarity of their looks, not mocking them. Oh how the mighty fall without grace... It reminds me of that old camp song I sang in Sweetwater, TN...”Be kind to your friends in the swamp...swamp-swamp...for a duck may be somebody’s mother...”

knick knack - It’s what happens to your the knick knacks in your house when you’re out...I’m convinced. They come alive and have issues socializing just like we do!

A Snowman from “Nome Sweet Nome, Alaska” is trapped in his snow globe, unable to join the other saucy & Sunny knick knacks for social hour.

What preceeds is like a Road Runner episode, and its my favorite part. Out of seemingly no where the Snowman pulls out this heavy atrillary to help him escape - he tries to break the glass with his two dimensional igloo. When that fails he uses his carrot nose and a hammer...then a jackhammer with less than desirable results...

...and an underwater welding machine...

...and finally a mound of TNT - which sends him and the snow all a-flurry. I won’t spoil the ending but it’s cute. And the music has lyrics which include a series of actual “blah, blah, blah’s”.

Jack-Jack Attack - This short also appears as part of the ending of the rather entertaining film, The Incredibles. Poor, poor, unsuspecting Kari comes to babysit Jack-Jack while the other family members are out fighting crime. In the course of Kari and Jack-Jack’s evening...

...he passively displays his own superhero powers...quick on his feet, levitating, super strength, passing through walls, my personal favorite - turning into a ball of fire...

...and laser vision to name a few. The Incredible’s archenemy comes to steal Jack-Jack unbeknownst to Kari...

...and she willingly turns this little nightmare over to who she thinks is the replacement sitter...there is a "BS" joke in there that I think is hysterical.

Watch the rest to find out what happens to this underpaid mercenary!!

LIFTED - Eeeeevvvvvvvvidently there is a “training program to abduct humans” for aliens.

(Can't you just hear the *click* of his pin?)

This short explains one aliens failure beautifully...he can't maneuver the human out of his house while he's sleeping - oh the bruising that will happen!!

I had to laugh because the little guy is sitting at a control panel with thousands of unmarked toggle switches and has supposedly been trained on how to utilize each one...no so much...

It becomes a guessing game at the humans expense! He fails miserably and in epic proportions, but not before he makes on last ditch effort and flails himself all over the switches hoping to find the right one...

His trainer then fixes the situation...

...only to feel sorry for the alien when he realizes he has failed. In an attempt to make him feel better he offers him the chance to take the controls & fly them home...

...which ends badly as well. Discover the ending for yourself for a much needed chuckle!

I hope you are able to find these shorts and enjoy them as much as I did!

Love,

A Kid At Heart

02.23.11: Five Thoughts For February

2011-02-23T13:10:00.000-05:00

Yep, that’s it - that’s all I had in February - just five thoughts. So for posterity here they are in no particular order.

Mickey Mouse is not my favorite Disney character although I have an iconic tattoo of him. The design is an original and the “CDR” letters are my initials. I had it placed on the top of my left foot and yes, that hurt - however the healing process is what stunk...it itched like crazy! And no, I would never get another one.

Oddly I don’t have a favorite Disney character. The tattoo is what Walt Disney & Walt Disney World represents to me: a place for fanciful imaginations & mind bending ingenuity. Walt is a wonderful example of the human spirit enduring and excelling to spite the circumstances. And The World itself is a very happy place to me which brings back wonderful family & childhood memories.

There is a difference between flattery and a compliment and I prefer the latter. Flattery is saying : “Is your mom home?” to a 40 year old woman. That was actually said to me on 02.21.11 by a 20-something young lady who came to my door trying to sell something. A compliment is: “Caryn - that is the best shade of color your hair has ever been!”. Thanks to Beth Moore for that one!

My favorite discovery for February 2011 is a product by Crayola - markers for glass & mirrors. My bathroom mirror makes it look like I’ve been vandalized and/or have children...it’s one hot mess that I am LOVING!! Trying standing in front of a mirror and drawing on a mustache or hair on yourself...cracked me up.

My 2 favorite phrases for February 2011 came from Kay Arthur: “You hangeth in there baby” & “When I said ‘To hell with you God!’ he said to me ‘To Heaven with you Kay!’.”

::Reflections Of Earth:: by Gavin Greenaway is my favorite piece of music, hands down. (Thanks to "prspeppers" on You Tube for making it available to hear!!) It’s like this emotional mix of The Nutcracker meets Celtic Thunder meets David Foster meets Drum Core masterpiece (I'm such a geek) - and I swear they must use every instrument known to man throughout the 9 1/2 minutes. The piece is a mix of whimsy, passion & power all wrapped into one. Let me tell you how much I like it....

If I were the composer...I would consider it my “Lifetime Achievement”

If I could play any instrument...I would play it every day

If I were a choreographer...I would spend my waking hours creating a routine to accompany it. My version includes...I mean my version WOULD include many costume changes, Riverdancers, ballet & tap masters and more than likely “jazz hands” and maybe some Muppets.

If I were a dancer...I would be a whole heck of a lot thinner...I would dance to it frequently

If I were to become deaf...a small part of me would be happy that I could still hum it cause I know every note

If I were my neighbors...I would file a complaint against me by now and if I were my car stereo speakers...I would have given out a long time ago - YEAH HONDA! I’m not obsessed or anything, but suffice to say I REALLY like this piece.

This piece explains a lot, doesn't it?

Sincerely,

Hoping I Still Have Friends :)

02.18.11 - Stretch Your Heart & Mind

2011-02-18T15:27:00.008-05:00

I tend to be a bit leery when someone says - "Oh you simply MUST read this book" or "You simply MUST watch this movie"...I've been burned a few times so know that I'm posting this with a grain of salt...

I'm reading two books right now that I have found profoundly helpful. They are helping me to understand two very important concepts in and about my life - spiritual warfare and living the lifestyle that is designed for Heaven...right now. Sounds kind of deep BUT here's the great thing about both books:

You don't need to be a Biblical scholar to understand these ideas. I will say that it has enhanced my ability to process the information a bit better because I can readily apply it to my life.

The authors lay a solid foundation about what each concept means - they clearly define the "players" & situations involved, and they point emphatically to the Bible to back up their exposition on the subject. That last point is very important to me because I never ever want to lulled into glorifying a person or following a persons beliefs.

I don't believe in coincidences so the fact that both of these books have concepts that weave into the Bible Study I'm currently doing - "Faithful, Abundant & True" - is in fact just the affirmation I needed that:

God meets you right where you are at any given moment in life wether you're a believer or not.

God believes in "iron sharpening iron" so he places people in your life at just the right time to help you learn...and sometimes help you learn the lesson! Proverbs 27:17 - "As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend"

The first book I'm talking about is called "Spirit Warriors" by Stu Weber. Going on memory here at the moment, but...Stu is an ex Army "hoo-rah" soldier who, through his personal experiences, likens the life, lifestyle and experiences of a soldier to being a spiritual warrior for God. Going into the book I expected him to have this "no nonsense, stop your whining, quit traipsing around Namby Pamby land" type mentality towards teaching how to build yourself up as a warrior. I could not have been more wrong. You can tell from every word that if you were to meet him in person he would have a very strong, very loving spirit about him. He would be an encourager and take your salvation so very to heart. I'm about 90 or so pages in and have been encouraged by every page I've read!

The second book is called "Kingdom Principles" by Myles Munroe. He is a pastor, author and public speak to name a few of his hats. This is a book that my Life Group is diving into, and the reason that I've enjoyed it so much is that I've never heard the subject spoken about before! He brings to light God's original plan for the Earth and the way it was to be governed and lays a foundation for living like it's Heaven on Earth...very exciting stuff!!!

I'm not sure I could tell you all of the ways which I have been encouraged these last few months of unemployment. Sounds contradictory, doesn't it? So many verses in the Bible say directly, without room for misinterpretation, "YET, I will praise you"... to spite my circumstances I will CHOOSE to praise you for the provisional, loving, thoughtful and faithful God that you are!!

BE ENCOURAGED for He has a plan for YOUR life...for each and EVERY life! Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope" Read through vs 14 for an even more beautiful and complete picture & ponder on the fact that the Creator of the universe thinks about YOU - "How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand..." (Psalm 139: 17 & 18) Yeah, that's a lotta thoughts about YOU!!

And on that thought...have a wonderful weekend!!

02.02.11: Be Encouraged, Part Four

2011-02-02T20:42:00.000-05:00

BE ENCOURAGED & KNOW THERE IS A PLAN

Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you” says the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, pLans to give you hope and a future”. YOU ARE WORTHY!!

I would not be serving you with love & honesty if I didn’t tell you that the Enemy is going to attack you as soon as you go seeking Him, but have no fear!! When the Enemy knows you’re working on your relationship with your Father he’s going to pull out all the stops.

It’s almost like he says - I will use every resource to destroy you. I will cause strife, disbelief, deception, anger, and hatred. If you have a weakness or a doubt I will put my foot in the door of your heart and go to work. I will do my best to make you feel helpless and alone.

Sometimes the Enemy gets my full cooperation and puts in very little effort to accomplish that! Isn’t that always his standard procedure though...he’s saying “I simply don’t have to do a lot because they are will so willingly believe / expect the worst. I just have to discourage them a LITTLE and watch them self destruct”.

Only God knows how to speak to your heart because He created you. Think about that!!!! If He c-r-e-a-t-e-d you from the inside out. Who else could POSSIBLY be equipped to speak into your life about the path laid before you??? Only YOU can walk that path...YOU!!! Who else could POSSIBLY love you EXACTLY the way you need to be loved so that it FILLS YOU UP???

You need to get ready to have your socks blown off when you start seeking Him. I’m going to say it one more time. Get in that Word and go expecting to hear from Him. And when he does...and when he DOES...and WHEN HE DOES - lock THOSE words away in your heart!!!!

02.02.11: Be Encouraged, Part Three

2011-02-02T20:39:00.001-05:00

BE ENCOURAGED & PUT YOUR ARMOR ON EVERY DAY

Go over to Ephesians 6 and get started RIGHT NOW!!

Why put it on? v.11 - so “that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.” Just so ya know, no power of hell, no scheme of man can EVER pluck you from His hand...you need to repeat that and commit it to memory - NO power of hell, NO scheme of man can EVER pluck you from HIS hand.

Who are we fighting? v.12 - “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against power, against the rulers of the darkness of this age (and remember that they will only rule in THIS age and not the age to come), against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” Their powers are only good on Earth. So do you know that God is light (good), and when God is present, darkness (evil) can not exist - it’s an impossibility. So when you call out the Word of God - when you believe it & speak it out loud the gates of hell shake and the Enemy runs for cover. Did you know that??

What happens when I put it on? v.13 - you can “withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.” Not “you might be standing”. Not “so that you can get up afterwards”. It’s so that you can WITHSTAND & REMAIN standing. There’s this whole “moving from glory to glory” thing that I don’t fully understand, but I believe it relates to this verse and supports that moving (requires action on our part) from glory (success in GOD’s EYES) to glory is how we are to LIVE. How we are to LIVE our DAILY lives. How we are to live moment to moment, hour to hour, day to day, year to year. It’s supposed to be a constant state of being.

So every morning when you get up say each part. In essence you are getting into a position to be spiritual covered in your thoughts and words and actions - thinking, speaking and walking in love...a very powerful love at that!!

v.14 Belt of truth & breastplate of righteousness - “Stand your ground, putting on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness.”

v.15 Shoes of peace - “For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that you will be fully prepared.”

v.16 Shield of faith - “In every battle you will need faith as your shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed at you by Satan.’

v.17 Helmet of salvation & the sword of the Spirit - “Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God.”

We are to know his word and hide it away in our hearts so that when trials come (and they will!) we can shield ourselves and say - this is what God’s word has to say about that and I believe His word to be true and this runs contrary to His word so it is false and straight out of the pit of hell and it has no power over me.

Scripture is such a great way to protect and arm yourself with who God says you are in Him - Him living in us through the Holy Spirit. We can think so little of ourselves and that can bring us down so incredibly fast. When we see ourselves as a child of God, then our perspective shifts from being incapable, to being MORE than capable. MORE than conquers. We speak and act from GOD’s LOVE and GOD’s ABILITIES, not our own.

When you wake each morning ask God what He’s doing and ask where (not IF, but WHERE) you can join Him. I just can’t say it enough - expect to hear from Him!! When you’re asking God to show you how to love on the people He created OF COURSE He’s going to show you!!!!

02.02.11: Be Encouraged, Part Deux

2011-02-02T20:35:00.000-05:00

BE ENCOURAGED & EXPECT TO HEAR FROM HIM

There are times when we expect God to only use people to speak to us, and while that can be true it is only ONE way in which God speaks to us. Open up your Bible and EXPECT that He will speak to you through scripture. Clear your mind, and if you don’t get a feeling of where to start reading, DON’T CLOSE YOUR BIBLE - just open it up and start reading...don’t give up. He’ll show up...He promises.

When you feel inclined to hide...fight. When you feel inclined to not answer your phone and become a recluse (pot to kettle speaking here)...know that you have the fight of your life ahead of you. If you’re sitting at home, you don’t threaten the Enemy in any way, shape or form. When you’re out and talking with your friends and loving on them and encouraging them he becomes powerless! But guess what...as a child of God, you have the power and resources in all of Heaven and on Earth to fight the Enemy against whatever is facing you or causing you to lose your peace. ALL-THE-POWERS-AND-RESOURCES-IN-HEAVEN-AND-ON-EARTH! Um, that’s a lot of power to be reckoned with!!

And God is a jealous God. When one of His kids are being messed with, do you think He’s going to sit back and say - “Oh well”. Acknowledge your need for him and to say “God show me what to do!!!” Sometimes He will tell you to be still because it’s not your fight. He’s going to come out swinging to protect His child and if you don’t listen and continue to stand and move around...you’re going to get clobbered.

Sometimes he’s going to tell you to get up and get moving. Go out of your way to be with a friend and to be around people who will listen and pray with you - call, email, text, IM someone! The key is to know the difference between when it is time to fight and when it is God’s fight and you’re to take the back seat. We are not meant to nor are we created to do this life alone - we can’t & it’s an impossible task to ask of anyone.

“God, right now I feel like hiding away from my family and friends who I know love me. But THAT, is NOT WHO I AM nor who I was created to be!! (Get good and mad at this point) YOU created ME for YOUR glory, for YOUR purpose and to be in fellowship with your children. You tell me that LOVE is to be my greatest commandment. Lord, help me out of this funk and show me where to go so that I can love others. So that others can love on me. Help me to open my mouth and confess to my friends that I’m struggling with (insert problem here) and let them join me in prayer because where there is more than one of your children joined in prayer - you are with us and you hear our prayers!!! And you love us. And there is POWER in prayer. And you WILL give us a renewed strength to persevere until this is resolved.”

02.02.11: Be Encouraged, Part One

2011-02-02T20:30:00.000-05:00

TO ALL OF YOU WHO NEED A WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT

It was so, so, good to talk with you today. I am sorry that life seems so out of sorts right now. I believe with all my heart that you head in a positive direction by talking with someone about how you are feeling, what you are going through, and getting sound Biblical advice. I can only speak from my experiences, so be encouraged but seek out the truth for yourself!!

One of the most important things that I learned - and by learned I mean that I was told this, but until I put it into practical application and watched God work it would do nothing - was that having God’s word in your heart and mind will be one of the single most important weapons to have in your arsenal. It’s there to remind you of who you are, who you serve, and what is possible. Scriptures are promises from your Creator that will never fail...never. Believe that, repeat that - God, never fails. GOD-NEVER-FAILS.

In those times when you feel so incredibly far from God it’s our own doing. Too harsh? Wait, don't go... see God doesn’t take a vacation from us and God doesn’t change. He is as faithful today as He was 2000 years ago to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. One of the biggest barriers in our relationship is pride. It’s a doozie that’s for sure. The cure? Acknowledge it, ask for forgiveness and rest....rest in the fact that God is faithful and will always be with you. His love knows NO bounds - He’s not limited to the four walls a church - THANKFULLY!!!

“Father, I feel (insert feelings here - so far from you, abandoned, hurt...), I know that you are faithful and loving & I ask forgiveness. Forgiveness for the sins that have separated me from you. I know that as I call them out and identify them, that they are forgiven and removed from me as far as the East is from the West and they are covered by the blood of Christ. (Then call em out!!!) Lord I ask that as I long to draw close to you that any bond which keeps me from hearing you is broken and removed during this time so that I hear only your truth. (Pick up your Bible) Abba...Father, speak to me - tell me where to go in your Word. Holy Spirit, reveal truth to me - about God and about who I am in Him.”

01.19.11 - No Great Fanfare...

2011-01-19T17:49:00.002-05:00

I almost didn't do this post but after a week I realized I could do a short and sweet post instead of a dissertation on what the last week has brought. Believe me, most of it's written out...but will remain with me to spare losing all 5 of my readers at once :)

For the last week, I've been getting use to a very ugly truth...my house is now minus my sweet faced, loving and stinky-breathed Jack Russell Terrier named Dudley. I had to put him down on the 14th for a severe health reason. We were together 13 years - which, quite frankly, doesn't seem possible. I'm gonna miss my sweetie pie, kissing the top of his head, and his antics which were easily taken in stride or forgiven when he would spoon with me at the time of HIS choosing. :) Lots of baths...I mean kisses...from him too.

The whole process could best be described as gut wrenching...and hopeful. Doesn't that sound odd?

Gut wrenching because I had to make a decision that I didn't want to make, and one that I didn't think I was capable of making.

Gut wrenching because I felt so compelled to keep asking his forgiveness if it had to come to putting him to sleep....to which he burped in my face, no joke. I took that as an "I will forgive you".

Hopeful for a couple of reasons. When I asked my friends and family to pray for me they did. And they did so in such a way that only a moment of fear was present when it came time to put him down. It was quickly replaced with a sense of comfort, protection, safety and of love...a great feeling of love.

Hopeful because I was privileged to hear so many personal stories of personal loss and the reminder that "joy comes in the morning" and "this feeling won't last forever". So many offers of "I wish I could be there with you" and "I'll be there with you if you want me to". And on and on...it was indeed a time to be humbled and thankful for the people that God has put in my life.

I learned that a new strength will be given to me if I'm willing to walk THROUGH the valley and trust Him. And that God sees each and every tear I cry...and he remembers them.

I learned that being prayed up on God promises to me and to EVERY believer is the best weapon to defeat the Enemy who is out and willing to steal, kill and destroy you when you're at your strongest and weakest - without a second thought...and believe me he was on me like white on rice throughout that day. But protection and provision won out...thanks be to God!!

In hindsight this was indeed grieving the loss of "my child" - and I am most thankful to have the kind of friends and family who understand that and accept that my feelings are real and valid. It was also taking a step with God in a way that He knew I would understand and remember when the next valley comes.

While there are many wonderful things that happened, there was one very real "oh crap" moment that I have to confess. There is a sense of embarrassment and humility that goes with this confession and I'm not proud of it. I do feel it's a great example of taking a look back at your life and realizing your mistakes, learning from them and asking for forgiveness.

This is to the two L's of my life. My reality use to say that losing a parent was the worst hurt one could ever experience and that losing a pet, while greatly loved, could not compare. My reality now is that after dealing with both type losses they are simply just two different types of losses, neither one great than the other...just different depending on the dynamics of the relationship. Does that make sense?

My two L's have not dealt with the death of a parent but they have both experienced the loss of a different kind of loved one. My "oh crap" moment was realizing how insensitive I had been to them both and a deep regret that I had in no way offered them the support and love that they offered me this past week. For that I am deeply and regrettably sorry. By that same token I am thankful that you love me to spite myself sometimes. Thank you for 25+ years of friendship, love, forgiveness - and hopefully forgiveness...yet again.

01.02.11: The Pissing Contest In Our House

2011-01-02T18:43:00.001-05:00

The tension is palpable in my living room tonight. I’ve been sitting here racking my brain trying to write a blog with no success. As I take a moment to “just breathe” I look over to find this hot mess...

This is what’s known as a “pissing contest” in my house. Step One: Dudley claims the bowl as his sole property & Thump thinks it’s best to wait him out - so he takes a back seat.

Step Two: Dudley is unsure of his nemesis’ position so he gets up, turns around and scouts it out.

Then he takes a spot just a tad closer to the bowls.

Step Three: Thump explores different angles for a possible lead in, but Dudley will have none of that & discourages him with his “evil eye”.

Step Four: Thump decides to hang back and wait Dudley out.

Step Five: Thump gives up and comes up on the couch with me and tells himself that there’s always tomorrow.

Hope your New Year's Eve was JUST as exciting as mine :)

01.02.11: It Was Never Not Going To Happen

2011-01-02T18:38:00.001-05:00

I’ve taken up the task of sitting still and listening to a few more chapters in the audiobook “Eat, Love, Pray” by Elizabeth Gilbert. Just 2 minutes into it I hear 7 very powerful words...”It was never not going to happen”.

There are certain events or moments in your life that God has preordained...things completely out of your control like the passing of a parent or a child. Those things which God has deemed necessary - to happen to you, because of you, for you...things which sometimes happen in order to help transform you into the person you were created to be. As Elizabeth says “It was never not going to happen”. This, whatever “this” is, would happen no matter what you said or did, or didn’t say or didn’t do. However, I feel the idea of pre ordained events has nothing to do with the whole “decision making process” that God has left in our incapable hands.

I make every effort to not be sucked into the “what if” scenarios of my life, which admittedly bad decision making can bring about. But when I write out thoughts like this it’s fair for me to admit that sometimes...sometimes there is a part of me which desperately wants to ask God on the day I die - show me what my life would have been like had I made the “right” choices. And my heart physically aches at the possibilities - and I’m gently reminded why playing the “what if” game burdens my heart and mind with unnecessary things - then to borrow a phrase...“He smiles because he is the one who has already been shown the answers to every test in the universe and can say - everything is working perfectly Caryn”

And God reminds me that He redeems all things - Titus 2:14...”who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works.”

To redeem...

to save...us from even our best of intentions
to compensate...for the defects of man
to be free from blame...and the weight of sin
to make restitution...for what perfect thing has been lost
to retrieve...that which is missing or would make us incomplete
to exchange...so that we have what is new and good and right
to honor...the covenant He made with us
to fulfill...the prophecies and purpose for all things
to make good...those things which we have compromised or made bad

Bad decisions most times will mean “paying the consequences”, processing what has changed and how, then purposefully getting back into your life...back on the path...in alignment with his will...under the protection of his wing. It’s almost never easy, but it’s always worth it...and if we draw near to Him, he will draw near to us.

The fact is, there are many paths that we will take in our lifetime - Psalm 23:3...”He leads me in the paths of righteousness”. God made that word plural, not me. And guess what...they all come back to good - ...”for His name’s sake”.

I'm a concordance junkie just so you know. I came alive when I finally understood what a concordance was and how it helps to understand the Word of God. So let's dig a little deeper and look at some of the key words in the verse...

Paths is from the Hebrew word agol which means to revolve, circular, round. First, the word revolve denotes action - to move. To be on something round means that the start and end points are at the same place - I start with God and the intention is that I end with God. I don’t picture that word as a treadmill or gerbil wheel, but rather an ant farm.

Righteousness has always been a tough word for me to wrap my head around. It has such a holy sound to it. The word tasdaq simply means to be right. It’s a process of justice - to be made right. So God intends all things that He allows to come into our lives to be made right either by a correct response (making the right decision) by us, OR if we fail (making the wrong decision) HE will cause all things to be made right.

Sake is from the Hebrew word maan which means purpose. So why are all things redeemed or made right? So that all things will work out according to His plan & purpose. To spite our flaw-full human nature, the God of Revelation 21 will triumph!!

So what do I think the good news is in "preordained" and in "freewill decision making"?

Preordained does not have to mean sadness. It’s an opportunity to CHOOSE TO SEE goodness happening - trials are things which help to burn away the unnecessary, unworthy, useless and harmful things of life. They are chances to respond correctly and to be rewarded greatly.

And walking the right path - using our freewill to say “God, whatever you have planned for me is for my good and intended for good & it will always be better than my imagination on its best day. I choose to respond correctly or accept your discipline”. Well here’s what Isaiah says the good news in that is...

Isaiah 41:31 “But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”

We’re now two days into a new year. May you sincerely consider the path you take and the decisions you make. May you always remember that life is a chance to see the good that God is doing and to be part of it - be fully present in your life this year!